so - do you have a boyfriend?

which is better, i ask:

to go on for a long time without something, to miss it on some level, but without really realizing it's missing because you are used to the lack of it and otherwise quite busy anyway;

or, on the other hand, to get a little taste of it, to hold it, hug it, kiss it all night, feel like... there is a connection, perhaps... right until you ask a silly question and get a shocking answer and then it all evaporates as quickly as it came?

net net, the end result is the same - solitude.

right now, i would have to say - between the two, i prefer the former.